We have three case studies on our website:  Tom's Story, Mary's Story and Ian's Story.

Ian's Story - A long term survivor
I was diagnosed as HIV positive in 1998. Despite suspecting this result (I wouldn't have been tested otherwise), it still turned out to be quite a shock.

I promptly went into somewhat of an alcoholic decline, convinced I hadn't got long to live. For the first few months I kept the "news" to myself but close friends suspected something was wrong.  Eventually I told a couple of close friends in confidence but somehow within a week everyone in my local community seemed to know.

Most people were sympathetic but there were a few unpleasant reactions - two anonymous letters telling me to get out of my flat or else they would see to it that I was removed "permanently", and then a spray painted notice on the doors of my block.

This was all very depressing, but at that time St Mary's had very, very good supporting services, counsellors, welfare rights officers, psychologists and clinical trials etc. In 1994 I was finally given an AIDS diagnosis, declining T-Cells,Thrush in the throat, rotting teeth all combined to compel to me to give up work.  I got myself into every clinical trial that I could find, many other seriously unpleasant side effects, but at least I thought I was in charge of my own treatment.

By 1999, I realised I was "still here", coping with constant diarrhoea, nausea and severe peripheral neuropathy, but still here.T-cells on the increase, putting on weight, but definitely "not dead".

However, in the mean time I had been to more funerals than I care to count. I'd lost touch with colleagues and all but my closest friends. Combination therapy meant I was alive and relatively healthy but depressed and lonely. This was when "Care Manager" suggested I try St John's. With some trepidation I came to lunch at the Day Centre and met Lola, the manager at the time, and was introduced to many other clients. Luckily I soon made friends. It was a revelation to find so many people with similar experiences to my own.

Thanks to the wonderful masseurs I at last found some relief from the numbness of neuropathy - I could feel "normally" for an hour or so. I found I was swapping information on combination therapies, trying others' strategies for dealing with the dreaded side effects.

Now in August 2004, five years since started coming to St John's, I realise it has become one of the most stabilising influences in my life. Socialising with so many from so many different lifestyles and backgrounds. I find I'm not alone with my worries and fears. Sometimes I can hand on useful information, more often I get help and support from others in the same boat. This plus the safety nets of alternative therapies, the ability to access medical help when I need it, occupational therapy to keep me safe at home. Physiotherapy to keep my ever swollen legs under control, dieticians to suggest perhaps a healthier way of eating. Indeed, the "healthy" meals we are offered in the Day Centre and the warm and friendly support from all the staff and wonderful volunteers.

All the above, plus the knowledge that if and when I'm recovering from a serious infection, or just plain exhausted, with a minimum of fuss I may be admitted to the unit for some respite and TLC.

You can help us to continue providing this kind of care for those with terminal illness - make a donation.