We have three case studies on our website:  Tom's Story, Mary's Story and Ian's Story.

Tom's Story

My husband was admitted to St John's for terminal care at the age of 85. I felt awful, I had been caring for Tom at home but he became too ill for me to look after on my own.  I was absolutely exhausted, and I felt angry, resentful, and dreadfully guilty about feeling angry and resentful. 

Poor Tom was very frightened and felt helpless and weak.  He somehow seemed to think that all this was his fault and that he had somehow let me down.

The Hospice Social Worker was marvellous, she gave us so much time, as a couple and as individuals.  We were able to talk about the anger, the fear, the frustration and the resentment that we were both feeling, and by talking to someone who didn't judge, but just listened, we were both able to put our feelings into the context of Tom's illness.

As we talked, we also started to focus on the many wonderful memories of our marriage and our children, and to share happy thoughts and feelings, rather than sharing fear and anger.

Because all the practical elements of looking after Tom were dealt with by the wonderful nurses, I could relax and enjoy spending time with him, rather than worrying about how I would manage to do all the things he needed.  Tom seemed less frightened.  The staff were so wonderful that he began to feel safe. 

When he passed away, it was so peaceful and dignified, just as he wanted really.  Our last weeks together were spent laughing and talking, and that is what I will always remember now.

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